Happy First Monday in May!

I hope you enjoyed your weekend!

I had a stimulating discussion regarding our propensity to control during the week, which left me with more questions than answers. Our attempts to gain control of the various outcomes in our lives often leave us exhausted and frustrated. The curious thing is that the drill we continually engage in generally turns out to be an effort in futility. We allow our circular thinking to lead us around and around, generating no viable results, and frequently leaving us in a worse condition than at the onset.

So, why do we entertain such non-productive thought processes? I believe it’s grounded in our fears of being criticized, disregarded, and disappointed. (Not that that doesn’t happen anyway!) And then there are the intrusive ego challenges. Is our desire to control the outcome so much greater than the integrity of the process, I wonder. Or does the fear of failure override our sensibilities?

The reality is that we don’t have control over anything except how we choose to respond to a given situation and by what means we decide to reconcile the results. Wouldn’t it be easier and less stressful to simply let go of our need to control and allow the outcome to unfold naturally? It’s like swimming against the current. We’re likely to become exhausted before we make any real progress.

For example, we sometimes hold a score of irrelevant thoughts that command free rent in our minds. The act makes us tired and difficult to live with, preventing us from clarity and creativity. What would it look like to release all those intrusive thoughts and make peace with the current situation to create space for new ideas and interpretations? I believe we would be rested, focused, and able to reach far greater solutions to our challenges. This way, we would be swimming with the current, gaining speed and distance.

Epictetus, a Greek Stoic Philosopher around 100AD, talked about the efficacy of harnessing our thought lives. He shared this insight:

Epictetus Quote: “Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and...”

Sounds like we may have the entire process backward!

Other thoughts on letting go include:

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.” Thich Nhat Hanh

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” Buddha

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

No matter how much you feel the need to worry about an upcoming challenge – let it go. Regardless of how desperately you want a specific outcome – let it go. If we learn to let go of our cares, we will realize a new peace and contentment, knowing that things have a way of working out without our intervention. We’ll be able to sleep at night, open our minds to creativity, and release stress and tension. After all, it’s a perspective change, and we do have the ability to make that choice.

Enjoy your mental spring cleaning this week as you practice letting go of useless thoughts and unwelcomed defaults!

Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda