HELP! We’re a church-going family. We’ve told our kids that God can do anything. They are ages 6 (Johnny) and 8 (Katie). We don’t let them watch the news, but one night while we were watching the news, our youngest got out of bed to go to the bathroom. There was a news report about violence in the Middle East and many people, including children had died. Much to our dismay Johnny saw the report and asked, “If God can do anything, why doesn’t he stop this stuff?” We really didn’t have an answer, but we told him that we have to pray for peace every day. Are we wrong in telling our kids that God can do anything? And, how can we put a little mind at ease about what’s happening in the world? ~ Worried Parents

Dear Worried Parents ~

I admire you for not letting your son and daughter become upset through the media by limiting their television access. However, as much as we try to protect our children from unwanted information, there are times that it can’t be avoided. This situation sounds like one of those times. In my mind, this does not negate the effectiveness of your parenting skills. On the contrary, the fact that your response is concerning to you indicates your devotion to providing your offspring with correct and valuable information.

That being said, your son’s reaction is a typical response in children at this stage of development. Challenging subjects such as this are complex for children to understand because they’re abstract thoughts and ideas. Without the cognitive skills to make sense of suffering, the why questions seem amplified, and we, as adults, seldom feel we’ve adequately satisfied our children’s concerns or curiosities. We try to help them understand the grace and mercy of God, and then something happens that seems nonsensical. I think your approach using prayer for peace is a beautiful way to help them submit their wonderings to the wisdom of God.   

It’s also appropriate to show our vulnerability by responding that we really don’t always know the whys, but we trust that God is a good God and always has our best interests in mind. There’s value in answering their questions honestly, which might mean I really don’t know, a response that assures that you they’re being heard. Then we can reassure them that they’re safe, not in danger like some children, and protected.

Don’t hesitate to point out that we live in a blessed and privileged country but that some children don’t have the same opportunities for care and safety. We are grateful to be in a place that’s safe and comfortable. Expressing our emotions healthfully gives our children permission to feel and express their thoughts and fears, as well as the things for which they’re grateful.

Here are some scriptures to support God’s faithfulness:

“Certainly the faithful love of the Lord hasn’t ended; certainly God’s compassion isn’t through! They are renewed every morning. Great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (CEB)

“Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.” Psalm 36:5-6 (NIV)

There are some excellent books to help you with talking about the things of God with your children. Here are a few that may be useful:

A Kid’s Book About God by Paul J. Pastor

Dear God, I have a Question by Kathryn Slattery

Everything a Child Should Know About God by Kenneth N. Taylor

Blessings to you as you seek to help your son understand the mysteries of God. Be present and attentive to his questions, model your faith and encourage him that there’s nothing to worry about, speak honestly and directly, including being transparent about your own questions, and give lots of hugs!

Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda