Understanding

Joyful Monday!

It’s the last Monday in March. I know, thank you, Captain Obvious! I just can’t believe we’re almost into April. I wonder how many feel the same. Thoughts begin to swirl, such as, what have I accomplished so far this year, am I making a positive difference in others’ lives, am I utilizing my time wisely, and did I save enough for a vacation this summer. Understanding our process and motivations is certainly underrated. We need to have goals and benchmarks to account for our time and growth.  

That leads me to today’s topic. Understanding. Sometimes it feels like we just don’t get it or that others can’t connect with the way we think and do things. It’s an interesting concept because there’s an element of humility built-in that we often overlook. Take, for example, teenagers. We try like crazy to get inside their minds to either encourage or correct (frequently, it’s to correct something we perceive as wrong or pointless).

We spend countless hours lecturing, guiding, pleading, leveling consequences to no avail. Or that colleague who gets on our last nerve. Maybe it’s the waitress, grocery clerk, or that guy at the counter when we tried to pay a utility bill. There are so many opportunities to become frustrated and angry that’s it’s tough to choose the pursuit of understanding.

The point at which we decide to listen empathetically is when the magic begins. Of course, it takes courage and strong determination to comprehend the inner workings of others’ mindsets and mannerisms. But, the ensuing discoveries often leave us feeling less than satisfied with the way we approached the initial challenge. Sometimes, we even feel a bit ashamed, as we discover things about ourselves that we weren’t aware existed. These characteristics could be patterns of behavior, judgments, or biases.

I found this quote from Carl Jung that made me pause and reflect:

Jung’s words really shift the perception of self. The thought that it might be something in us that needs adjustment so we can fully understand another’s struggle leaves us wondering about ourselves. In the case of our teenagers, perhaps their novel mode of expression isn’t necessarily wrong and could need some adjustment, but it may also be a new and stimulating approach to an old dilemma.

And what about the colleague, waitress, grocery clerk, or counter worker. Did their attitudes offend because we were on edge? Maybe we didn’t stop to consider that many they assisted that day were angry, rushed, and rude. That never happens, right? Perhaps there’s some trauma happening in the background of their lives they’re trying desperately to overcome or cover up as they seek to maintain some decorum at work.

In the poem, Walk A Mile in His Moccasins (1895), Mary T. Lathrap shares the following:

Don’t find fault with the man who limps,

Or stumbles along the road.

Unless you have worn the moccasins he wears,

Or stumbled beneath the same load.

There may be tears in his soles that hurt

Though hidden away from view.

The burden he bears placed on your back

May cause you to fall, too.

(for the complete poem, visit https://www.aaanativearts.com/walk-mile-in-his-moccasins)

Ms. Lathrap’s thoughts seem to parallel Jung’s quote. There’s value in recognizing irritations caused by others if we reflect on how we’re reacting and why it affects our actions. Then, we can make more favorable choices for both ourselves and the others with whom we come in contact.

Here’s some instruction from Scripture:

“My mouth speaks wisdom; my heart’s meditation brings understanding.” Psalm 49:3 (CSB)

“Making your ear attentive to skillful and godly Wisdom and inclining and directing your heart and mind to understanding [applying all your powers to the quest for it];” Proverbs 2:2 (AMPC)

“For this reason we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;” Colossians 1:9 (NKJV)

The magic happens when we begin to look inside and identify our reactions. We can then train ourselves to foster understanding instead of judgment. We can befriend people with expectations of the best possible outcomes because of what we’re looking for by exercising our power of understanding. And we can clearly see our shortcomings and how they influence our ability to be considerate.

Enjoy your week, becoming familiar with and exercising your gift of understanding!

Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda