“…happiness depends more upon the internal frame of a person’s own mind than on the externals in the world…”

President George Washington February 15, 1787

Happy Monday! 

And happy long weekend! Today is President’s Day in the USA when we commemorate the lives and accomplishments of Presidents Lincoln and Washington. Each uniquely contributed to the foundations of our government and each was tasked with modeling leadership with kindness and dignity in different ways. I’ll leave you to research independently, but a few words credited to President Washington caught my attention, and I wanted to share some thoughts.

Here’s what he said:

Photo by Joshua Sortino. No copyright infringement intended.

Let’s take a moment to absorb these thoughts. They seem so simple and straightforward. I’m reminded of the children’s movie (I believe adults would be well-advised to watch, too) entitled Inside Out, where emotions are given their own personas and act out in ways typical of their characteristics.

The characters are Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust, along with an imaginary friend, Bing Bong, who resides inside the 11-year-old child Riley’s mind. They each show their contribution to Riley’s inner world as she traverses the emotional kaleidoscope of moving to a new town. The Disney/Pixar movie captures how our internal wellness may be affected by outside influences, but we still have choices to make to ensure our overall wellbeing.

Here are a few quotes from the movie:

“I’m sure glad you told me earthquakes are a myth, Joy.” Fear

“I’m positive you’ll get lost in there.” Sadness

“Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life’s problems.” Sadness

“Oh no! These facts and opinions look so similar!” Joy

“We should lock the door and scream that curse word we know.” Anger

I read that the story continues with Riley working through teenage emotions in the new movie to be released. I’m looking forward to viewing the writers’ treatment of this season in life. I hope it’s as impactful as the first movie.

If I were to draw parallels, some of the elements that surface for me are that a healthy internal condition allows us to make healthier choices when faced with challenging external stimuli. If we’re maintaining adequate boundaries, properly caring for our health, and remaining attentive to our mental and emotional states, our responses to what happens around us are very different than when we’re not attuned to the things that cause us concern, confusion, or chaos leading to triggering responses.

It’s like studying the trauma modality known as Internal Family Systems (IFS), where we learn the various purposes of our inner parts, just as with traditional Family Systems therapy. Each part or person plays an essential role in our overall sense of self and the ability to manage through peaceful or challenging situations. We can more easily regulate our impulses when we’ve noticed what’s driving our internal frame.

Let’s say we’ve had a tough week and arrive home on a Friday evening to a household typically quiet only to find everyone, including the dog, has an attitude. If overall, we’re rested, in touch with our emotions, had enough exercise, and left the office at the office, we’re better equipped to walk into the house, take a deep breath, and contain the chaos.

If we haven’t taken enough time to regulate ourselves emotionally, we might respond with negativity and anger, recounting why we deserve to enter a home with harmony and peace. It could get really ugly if we begin to react to the externals with anger-slinging accusations and generally add to the confusion. One vital element to remember is that we don’t have to respond to the impulses. We can select the internal thoughts we want to represent us and reply to the external or outside chaos with intentionality.

Some additional thoughts from Scripture follow:

“Lord God of our ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, always watch over your people’s deepest thoughts. Keep their hearts directed toward you.”1 Chronicles 29:18 (GW)

“This is the end of the account. As for me, Daniel, my thoughts greatly troubled me, and my countenance changed; but I kept the matter in my heart.” Daniel 7:28 (NKJV)

Let’s take a few minutes each day this week to stop and check our internal thoughts and compare what we’re thinking internally with how external demands are challenging us. After taking that temperature, consider how we might make intentional choices to remain faithful to our integrity and values. I’m hoping we find satisfaction in our responses!

Be Well & Be Blessed!

Lucinda