“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
Steve Maraboli
Happy Monday!
I hope you had a pleasant weekend!
I was thinking about the futility of feeling guilty during the past week and wondering how we get caught up in the downward spiral. Sometimes, we say or do something we wish we wouldn’t have and, when we try to correct the misstep, make matters worse. We get perplexed, overcompensate, and generally wind up feeling like fools. If we let go of our ego investment, we can regain ground and salvage what’s left of our dignity.
If we deeply hurt someone we care for, our guilt is often amplified and blown out of proportion. Frequently, we feel like we let them down and can’t bear those thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, we can carry those lingering feelings around for years, using them to berate ourselves at every opportunity. Somehow, we feel it’s fair punishment for our heinous crime. And, if we hold on to it long enough, we pattern a lifestyle after something that didn’t warrant the sentence.
An example is making a judgment about a family member when we are in pain or maybe not in our best form. We might spend years fuming over an incident without really knowing all the facts. When those are discovered, we feel a pang of guilt for our misjudgment and spend the following years beating ourselves up about our mistake or miscommunication. It then becomes a lifelong penance that we feel we can’t escape. The fix might be as simple as burying our ego to converse with the person or people involved.
The sad part is that once we realize our original error in judgment, it would be so simple to make things right. We just need to recognize and acknowledge the realities and truths and make the proper adjustments. We can practice forgiveness for ourselves, the situation, and the others involved. Then, we move on with new knowledge and understanding. Steve Maraboli, author, performance coach, and speaker, put it this way:
And here’s the very cool part: once we make amends and let go, the entire situation remains in the past, and we can consider the present needs and move forward accordingly. It’s really that simple ~ no need to complicate matters and create a new drama. Just let go. It reminds me of the Anonymous program’s motto – Let Go and Let God. We don’t have to carry the weight or burden anymore. (The only caveat is not to take it back!)
And, for believers, The Lord makes provision for our shortcomings. He knows us all too well and planned for this very thing. It’s as easy as repenting (turning from one direction and going in the opposite way), asking for forgiveness (letting go of the burden and releasing it into God’s hands), and moving on with our purpose. It takes about 10 seconds. Yup, I kid you not; it’s that easy!
Matthew 6, in Scripture, instructs us on how to pray. The passage is known as The Lord’s Prayer. Verse 12 asks for Him to “…forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…” (NKJV) (some versions translate as sins or trespasses). And if we look at verses 14-15, we learn this:
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (NKJV)
We further learn that forgiveness is our duty and responsibility:
“At that point, Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 (The Message)
We’re not supposed to carry around a massive burden from something that happened long ago or recently. For our mental and emotional health, as well as our spiritual wellbeing, we can carry a lot less baggage if we put into practice letting go of guilt (something we do to ourselves), shame (something others do to us), and allow healing and reparation to be our primary objective.
This week, take some time to examine what is holding you back from having a peaceful and fulfilling life. Maybe there’s someone or a situation that requires your attention. Perhaps it’s time to release the feeling that you’re letting or have let someone down. I will boldly promise you’ll feel so much better when you do!
Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda