“Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.” Rene Descartes
Happy Monday!
I hope your week was fruitful and you made time to rest over the weekend! We keep ourselves busy for many reasons. Sometimes, we have too much on our plates. Other times, we feel compelled to complete projects that really aren’t that urgent. And, frequently, this is the toughest; we just don’t feel we deserve to relax. Despite all the reasons we find to justify avoiding rest, I hope you’re looking for ways to let your mind and body get some form of refreshment. It’s one way to keep us sharp and in charge of our emotional responses.
Speaking of emotional responses, have you ever responded to a comment in a way that you later thought you might have delivered better or even regret having said? This happens to me sometimes when I’m exhausted or overstimulated. Somebody will make a comment, and occasionally, it will put me on edge when I’m not connected well to my reactions. I get offended. I retreat. I regret not speaking up. Then, I have to circle back to that person and ensure no hurt feelings will linger on either side.
I also have challenges with the phrase, “No offense, but…” That statement is almost always followed by something that will inevitably, guess what, offend. When we’re trying to make a difference in the world and set a good example, holding onto offense just isn’t conducive to upholding the image that offers unconditional regard, respect, and empathy. So, we strive to let it go, forgive, and forgive, and forgive. I don’t think forgetting is an option for most of us, but we can let it go. (Sometimes, forgetting can be dangerous, but that’s for another musing.)
Rene Descartes, a French philosopher in the early 1600s, shared these thoughts, which I find pretty interesting:
I like Descartes’ thoughts because, after all, isn’t that what we aspire to, being beyond the reach of offense? It gives the ultimate control of how we feel about a thing back to us, not in someone else’s hands. And if you want to get spiritual about it, we can let go of the offense and let God handle the retribution.
Here are some passages from Scripture that underscore my point:
“Insightful people restrain their anger; their glory is to ignore an offense.” Psalm 19:11 (CEB)
“If someone in charge becomes angry at you, don’t leave your post; a calm reply puts great offenses to rest.” Ecclesiastes 10:4 (VOICE)
“I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you.” Isaiah 44:22 (NIV)
“Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” Romans 12:19 (MSG)
Seriously! There’s so much wisdom here. We seem to spend a lot more energy trying to respond to offense and protect ourselves when it’d be easier to let it go and move on to something more worthy of our time and efforts. Maybe we could replace the negativity with positive thoughts and activities that will benefit a greater population. Perhaps we could be emissaries of happiness and inclusion instead of sadness and alienation. IDK, but something has to be better than holding onto offense and causing division.
Let’s take some time this week to consider alternatives to holding onto offense. I’m not saying we should be a doormat. Speak up for things that aren’t right, but once we do, let it go. Maybe it won’t be popular, but go ahead and be a trendsetter. I think this is one worth the effort!
Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda
