“Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting – it’s us.”
Alana Stewart
Happy Monday!
I hope that wherever you are in the world, you had a chance to enjoy the weekend and get some much-needed downtime. Where I live, it finally began to look like Spring with a lovely breeze and sunny days. I spent time outside soaking up vitamin D, getting some color back in my face between tasks, and simply enjoying being outdoors for a while. We spend so much time inside working and handling other responsibilities. It’s nice to take a few precious moments to be screen-free and commune with nature.
This week, I encountered several people whose challenges revolved around bitterness and resentment. It’s interesting how, once that takes root, switching to a more positive mindset is tough. It’s almost as if bitterness has a mind of its own and can drive a reasonable person to question people they have known and loved for years.
The cause can be a simple misunderstanding that’s allowed to grow and fester or a more severe encounter that seemingly has no easy solution. Take, for example, unkind words. Maybe someone says something that appears to be an unfair judgment. Even if it wasn’t meant to be perceived as a judgment, another can take and toss it into the rumor mill, where unkind words quickly turn it into gossip. That gossip then becomes the foundation of bitterness, and things get out of control very soon.
Another example occurs when there’s a lack of communication. Let’s say siblings have become estranged. One has expectations of the other but never voices them, so the second is unaware of the resentment that’s begun to form. Ultimately, bitter words are exchanged that damage the relationship so badly that it seems there will never be a way to repair and reconcile ~ such a sad way to live out a legacy.
The funny thing is, when we concede to bitterness and allow resentment to form, we feel like it’s a punishment for the other person. The truth is that the only person who feels the pain is us. We reap the rewards of bitterness in broken relationships that may perpetuate through generations. It’s a sad commentary on our inability to see clearly and effectively communicate the things that trouble our hearts.
Here’s a quote that pretty much sums it up:
Scripture has many references to bitterness. The two that strike me the most follow here:
“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 (NKJV)
“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness, no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12: 14-15 (NIV)
It’s tough to pull ourselves away from our righteous resentment. But we see the opposite of bitterness is forgiveness. What? That can’t be right! How can we possibly remedy our bitterness through forgiveness?
Well, some synonyms for bitterness are disgruntlement, discontent, grudge, indignation, petulance, trauma, pain, sorrow, antagonism, enmity, virulence, spitefulness, vindictiveness, vitriol, hatred, loathing, and malevolence. In contrast, antonyms are sweetness, contentment, warmth, goodwill, kindness, fellowship, cordiality, charity, and benevolence.
So, essentially, bitterness is anger, and the opposite of anger is joy. Forgiveness is an act of our will to release the anger we hold against another person and trust justice to prevail. Make no mistake, though. It doesn’t mean forgetting. It means not harboring resentment that can cause disease within us. Thus, we’re back to the beginning of our conversation today. It’s a shift in mindset.
This week, let’s examine our hearts for any root of bitterness or resentment. If found, let’s work on changing our perspective and make the choice to shift our mindset to benevolence and goodwill. It might take a minute, but I’m confident that the benefits of letting go of the negative to embrace the positive will profoundly affect the quality of our time and relationships ~ not to mention our peace!
Have a great week!
Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda
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