“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” Jack Kornfield
Happy Monday!
I hope you had a wonderful weekend!
We generally think of compassion as extending outward to others. There’s a lot of activity, particularly at this time of year, around extending care to those who need our assistance in one way or another. These acts might involve volunteering to serve a meal at homeless shelters or packaging shoeboxes for underprivileged children. They might also include assembling gifts to go overseas to families in crisis or filling backpacks for local children who need school supplies.
Maybe your community or church group is assembling the materials for a meal to gift to a family who’s lost everything in a fire, such as those in Ventura County. One year, the girls and I, with the help of our local YMCA, made turkey sandwiches to include in brown bag meals. We then distributed them to all the local homeless enclaves in the surrounding area. I remember my younger daughter being so excited about feeding people that we had to hold her back from jumping out of the car at each location before the vehicle stopped. Compassion for others is beautiful and makes us feel we’ve contributed to the greater good.
Scripture lends support regarding compassion:
“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.” Luke 15:20
“Indeed, we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.” James 5:11 (NKJV)
There’s another kind of compassion we may not readily recognize or engage with regularly. It’s easy to overlook in our busy days and seldom makes the top of the to-do list. It is elusive and might also be buried in the negative thoughts we think about ourselves. I’m talking about self-compassion.
Jack Kornfield, author, speaker, and positive thinker, has this to say:
Sometimes, we feel like self-compassion is undeserved. We beat ourselves up mercilessly about all the things we don’t do or aren’t able to accomplish. We burn the candle at both ends to grant ourselves a few precious moments of time off. We seldom put ourselves first in a misguided effort to be selfless.
We often forget that to be the best version of ourselves, we must honor our gifts, talents, and abilities by caring for our bodies, minds, emotions, and mental states. These are all components that require self-compassion. When we allocate time from our busyness to care for ourselves, we’re better equipped to show compassion to others.
Here are a few thoughts from others about self-compassion:
“How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So we must care for ourselves in every way, every day.” Sam Owen
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” Christopher Germer
“Accept yourself. Love yourself as you are. Your finest work, your best movements, your joy, peace, and healing come when you love yourself. You give a great gift to the world when you do that.” Melodie Beattie
Self-compassion sometimes involves forgiving ourselves for our uninspired actions or words. It can also include spending less time trying to solve a work problem or declining an invitation to do something fun because we genuinely need rest. It might involve taking a break for a workout because we’re not thinking as clearly as we’d like.
Maybe it’s spending time to debrief with a trusted friend, getting insight from a mentor, or committing to some much-needed therapy. We need to recognize the importance of self-care and self-compassion and make the time to give ourselves the best chance for rest to gain the clarity that brings peace. We gain perspective when we step back, refresh, and allow new ideas to emerge.
There’s no time like the present! Let’s commit to more self-compassion, particularly during this busy season. We’ll be happier, and those around us will enjoy the compassion that spills from our reserves.
Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda
