Happy first Monday in March! 

I hope you scheduled some downtime this week and prioritized self-care. We all need to give ourselves a break from the stress and tension of work and other duties and responsibilities. Taking time for revitalizing gives us the strength to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

Sometimes we feel we have to work longer and harder to compensate for some earlier lack of focus or misstep. We can be brutal on ourselves and strive to accomplish the impossible due to perceived failures and the need to make right an outcome that didn’t meet our expectations in the past. Or maybe we believe we haven’t done enough to correct a situation that was our responsibility in the first place.

There’s a popular phrase that I’ve noticed frequently used when describing a difficult situation. The term holding the tension is unique in showing how we balance opposites. For example, when we have disagreements with others, we might explain what we’re sad about and also understand that we had a part in how we responded that caused the other person to react in a way that hurt our feelings.

Psychology Today notes that:

“By learning to hold the tension of the opposites, we stretch and grow bigger. There is more space for seemingly opposite ideas, feelings and behaviors to peacefully coexist. We become less rigid and more flexible, less judgmental and more tolerant, less fearful and more loving.” Psychology Today (2023)

I found an interesting quote from Sean Brady, who is a contemporary American mixed martial artist, that furthers this sentiment:

Photo by Robert Kubicek. No copyright infringement intended.

It seems that holding the tension is as important in our personal conduct as it is within the scope of social reform, diversity and inclusion, and exploring our faith. And in each arena, maintaining an openness about the possibilities and striving to acknowledge the past become paramount. Furthermore, when delving into elements of mental and emotional equilibrium and spirituality, holding the tension can mean the difference between accessing our strength to create a better life and remaining stuck in the past.

There’s a passage in Scripture, Philippians 1:21, that continues to confuse many of us but is a perfect example of holding the tension:

“On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I live or die. They didn’t shut me up; they gave me a platform! Alive, I’m Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his prize. Life versus even more life! I can’t lose.” (MSG)

Or the more familiar,

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (NKJV)

Notice how Paul is adeptly holding the tension of the opposites. He shares his belief that whatever he chooses, he wins. It’s a contradiction that is both challenging and comforting.

I’ll share a fun story that caused me to chuckle over the weekend. I have a dear friend who lives in the mountains. When I experienced a life-changing event, she took my little dog to live with her. He acclimated very well and soon became a part of their family. The funny thing is that he hated the rain and getting his paws wet when he lived with me. It was a great ordeal for him to go outside when there was any water on the ground.

When I spoke with my friend, we laughed about how he did the same ritual of constantly shaking his paws when he first was with her. But now, he loves being out in the rain and snow. He prances about like a little prince, and she has to keep him on a leash often because he gets so excited when he’s exploring that he wanders too far. But, unlike his previous behavior, the little dude has found a way to move beyond his past, holding the tension to create new experiences and joy.

Challenge yourself this week to look at things you’re clutching tightly. Then, determine to let go and consider another way. See if holding the tension brings you happiness and peace. I’m sure you’ll find it worth the exploration!

Be Well & Be Blessed!

Lucinda