Happy Monday! 

Yet again, the weekend just flew by. I hope you spent some time relaxing and allowing your mind and body to refresh from the busy week. I was happy to find some extra time to read a new book I wanted to start. I also did a bit of cooking, which is a very mindful activity for me. I’m so focused on the activity and enjoying what I’m doing that I lose track of time and the never-ending to-do lists.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! In one of the only recorded lectures revolving around his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis talked about the differences and similarities between Storge (empathy), Philia (friendship), Eros (romantic), and Agape (unconditional) loves. Typically, Valentine’s Day conjures images of Eros or romantic love with hearts, chocolates, flowers, and the like. Today we’ll consider what happens as the four interconnect.

Storge love is the kind that parents have for their children. It’s familiar and based on a natural affection. Philia love is that which occurs between friends and is based on commonality. Eros love exists between people who are attracted to one another in a healthy romantic way. Agape love is selfless and unchanging, such as the unconditional regard and support of our loving Heavenly Father.  

Together, they guide us in fostering loving relationships based on a solid foundation and intended to stand the test of time. We may experience perceived barriers, such as rebellion, misunderstandings, and quarrels, but if we practice unconditional regard, barriers can be broken down and even removed. Here is the essence of the old saying, mending fences. We make choices to address the challenge and offer love rather than becoming entrenched in our own thoughts and beliefs.

I very much respect this quote from Maya Angelou:

Photo by Derick McKinney. No copyright infringement intended.

I appreciate the way we can almost hear the enthusiasm from Ms. Angelou as we read her words. There are no barriers, hurdles, fences, or walls that can impede the progress of true love in any sense of the word. And the ultimate goal of hope cannot be denied to those who seek love regardless of the connotation.

There are so many ways to show love and receive love. The crux of the matter is to earnestly seek the purity of love from a childlike vantage point. We must remain hopeful, tear down inappropriate walls, and pursue with assertive integrity the hopeful idealism that surrounds love.

I recently had breakfast with a dear friend who reconnected with the love of her life in her retirement years. She was disillusioned early on because the barriers seemed insurmountable. Yet, as described above, she continued to show up with patience, understanding, and unconditional love, displaying all four aspects of love. Ultimately, her pursuit was recognized and accepted for the genuineness of her heart, and hope filled both of them with the desire to grow old with one another. Such a beautiful love story ~ these realities just can’t be contrived.

My favorite description of the excellence of love is in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7. The passage is a little bit long, but worth the reminder:

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels but have not love [for others growing out of God’s love for me], then I have become only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal [just an annoying distraction]. And if I have the gift of prophecy [and speak a new message from God to the people], and understand all mysteries, and [possess] all knowledge; and if I have all [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love [reaching out to others], I am nothing. If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good at all.

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant.It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening” (AMP)

Enjoy all the joy this Valentine’s celebration offers, remembering that as wonderful as the candy, flowers, and gifts are, with no barriers, a more comprehensive understanding of the essence and excellence of love is everlasting!

Be Well & Be Blessed!

Lucinda