My beloved grandmother just passed away from COVID-19. She was only 68. She hadn’t gone out since the shelter in place started, except to the doctor’s office. My parents and I bought all of her groceries or whatever else she asked us to get for her. This isn’t to blame anyone because we know the virus is everywhere and even airborne. We haven’t a clue where she got it. Grandma was in very good physical and mental health except the last month. Our question is, does God call us home at a certain time? We expected her to live many more years because longevity is in her family. Her mother lived to be 96.

~Missing Grandma

Dear Missing Grandma ~

I’m very sorry to learn of your loss. Losing a loved one is difficult in most situations, and especially when it seems out-of-order and unexpected. Our home-going is one of the great mysteries of our existence. In this unique time, there seem to be additional questions that make a loss, such as yours, extremely unsettling. Although your Grandma was only 68 years old, she was among those who are considered high-risk. But even that knowledge doesn’t provide much comfort when you’re missing her. 

Ecclesiastes 8:8a reminds us that: 

“As no one has power over the wind to contain it, so no one has power over the time of their death.” (NIV)

That brings up the questions of when and why. I could offer you several platitudes, but the simple answer is there’s no earthly way to know why God calls us home. As for the when, I believe He has a timeline for us to which we’re not privy, and I believe it’s for our protection. Just imagine if we knew the specifics of our lives and the circumstances of our deaths. We’d probably be in constant anxiety and maybe not very kind to ourselves and others. We’d be living a limited life without promise or hope.

Scripture teaches that we have abundant life and a plan and purpose that’s explicitly predestined for each of us.

“But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect —life in its fullness until you overflow!” John 10:10b (TPT)

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

So, how do we reconcile these passages in Scripture with the overwhelming grief we feel. Perhaps you will find some peace knowing that you and your family took all the necessary precautions to keep your Grandma safe and healthy. Thinking of her with fond memories and talking about the things she did that made you smile will help ease the pain of your loss. Taking time to express your emotions as often as you’re able and without shame or guilt allows you to process your grief healthily and prevent toxic thoughts from overcoming you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

My prayer for you is that you’ll embrace time with your family to take this journey together and reach out for support through your place of worship, counseling, or a grief group. I hope you’re able to lean on the promise that:

“The Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end.” Isaiah 60:20b (NIV)

Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda