I’m twice divorced with two adult children who I seldom see, and who rarely call or check up on me. My problem has been trying to live on the meager Social Security I receive every month. I have a friend who moved to Mexico and is living comfortably in a community with many Americans. Her income is about the same as mine. If I moved there, my monthly income would go a lot further and provide a better lifestyle. When I told my kids I’m thinking of relocating there, they didn’t like the idea. I told them they could come and visit and I wouldn’t have the financial struggle I have here. I’m serious about the move and will probably go within the next couple of months. Even though I’ve laid out all the facts, the kids don’t seem to be listening. I just don’t know what to say when they start in attempting to change my mind. Help! ~ Moving Soon

Dear Moving Soon ~

It sounds like you’ve been thinking about this for a while. It’s a big move, but as long as you’ve done effective research, it may provide a better lifestyle for you. The fears surrounding moving to another country revolve around safety, security, and accessibility. The funny thing about our children is they’re less inclined to be amenable to change when it comes to us because it upsets their vision of things – mom or dad won’t be where I’m used to anymore. Also, the concept strikes the nerve of how they will reach us if they need us.

All that to say, you have every right to make decisions about your life. You’re not answerable to your children. As long as you have healthy cognitive abilities and are able-bodied, these are your choices.

Scripture advises in 2 Timothy1:7:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (NKJV)

Often, our children believe that we’ve lost the capacity to manage ourselves, mainly when we choose to act in a way they feel is unbefitting. It’s not their fault, however. We raise them in the faith to be sensitive and compassionate and watch over us in our old age.

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord [that is, accept their guidance and discipline as His representatives], for this is right [for obedience teaches wisdom and self-discipline]. Honor [esteem, value as precious] Your father and your mother [and be respectful to them]—this is the first commandment with a promise—so that it may be well with you, and that you may have a long life on earth.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to the point of resentment with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by showing favoritism or indifference to any of them], but bring them up [tenderly, with lovingkindness] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:1-4 (AMP)

So, we all have responsibilities, parents and children, to care for one another.

I wonder what it would be like for you to approach your children again with the data to support your decision. They still may not listen to you, providing you with an opportunity to declare what you’re going to do in no uncertain terms. You may want to keep your voice even and not give rise to emotions that might begin to brew inside. Instead, try to listen to their concerns, weigh the value, and continue to make the wisest decisions you have for yourself.

Remember to enlist the power of prayer to speak clearly and concisely to their attempts to reason with you. Then, in the same calm and caring manner, share your heart with them, adding that you’re not trying to get away from them but trying to have a better quality of life with relatable people in a less stressful financial environment.

As you prepare to meet with them and have consulted with the Holy Spirit for guidance and discernment, He will provide ways for you to speak directly to their concerns with conviction. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. I suggest a thoughtful and kind approach, but with strength. After all, they’re still your children, and leaving with an in-tact relationship will bless you and them.

I wish you blessings of peace in your process and happy trails on your next adventure!

Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda