Self-care

Happy Monday! 

And suddenly, we’re halfway through August! Seriously! When did that happen? The weather has finally become summer-esque. Some of you are delighted. I and others like me are praying for snow.

I’m spending the weekend with a dear friend who had surgery on Friday. I want to say that it was a fluke, but in reality, she has been very hard on her body most of her life. Not that she hasn’t been careful and as healthy as possible, but she’s done some pretty unique things in dance and rock ‘n roll. She probably should have paid more attention to self-care when it all comes down.

And there are all manner of self-care needs. I often hear about the lack of understanding and how people don’t really know each other. Statements like, “He just doesn’t understand my needs” and “She doesn’t get me” are things I hear regularly from spouses, partners, family, friends, and co-workers. I believe they’re true statements because we frequently don’t know ourselves and have difficulty being authentic in relationships. We become confused. We give ourselves weird messages.

It’s as though we expect others to get into our heads and navigate the maze of uncertainty and confusion. Even if that were possible, I’m afraid it wouldn’t do much good when we don’t have a handle on our own thoughts, what makes us tick, what makes us unique, and who we are. We need to have the clarity to allow others to know us. And we don’t need to defer to others’ ideas of who we are to figure it out. I found this quote that about sums it up:

Find any words of wisdom to apply to yourself in the thoughts above. They’re all rich, but I think my favorite is number five. Never speak bad about yourself. (I know it should by badly, but I don’t like to change others’ words.)You see, we believe what we rehearse. If we grow up with negative reinforcement, we think we are worthless and incapable. The same is true about how we speak about ourselves. If we continuously criticize ourselves, we begin to believe our own words at some point, just like we believed those that may have been spoken over us.

I remember a time when someone in my family told me that I was a huge disappointment to everyone. It was so hurtful, but instead of knowing that the words were spoken out of spite, I internalized them. I actually began to talk to myself in the same way. You’re such a disappointment. You’ll never measure up. You don’t have the right to take up space. I literally set out to make myself smaller, not only in stature but also in minimizing my gifts and talents. It took a long time to reverse the trend, and sometimes if I’m tired or overworked, I almost believe those words again.

So you see, self-care has many applications. If you know me at all, you know that take good care is a phrase I use often. That means in all areas of your life. Take care of your mental and emotional wellbeing. Take care of your physical needs. Take care to speak life into your mind. Take good care of you!

This week, take a good long look at your self-care habits. Are you hitting all the wellbeing marks? Are you managing balance? Or are you working a little too much, exercising a little less than you should, or not scheduling some fun things to round out your week? When you’ve taken accurate inventory (don’t cheat!), make the necessary adjustments and get yourself back on track. You’ll be happier because of it!

Take good care!

Be Well & Be Blessed!

Lucinda