Who You’re Not

“It’s not who you are that holds you back; it’s who you think you’re not.” Denis Waitley

Happy Monday!

And Happy Belated Father’s Day to all you Dads! I hope you celebrated in style and were properly doted upon. Some of us spent time with people who were stand-ins when ours weren’t available for many reasons. There are mixed emotions surrounding the day, and hopefully, we each made a way to enjoy a relaxing time with friends and family.

I’ll shift gears now to thoughts of motivation ~ not just how we motivate ourselves but how we get in our own way. Sometimes, we’re able to take an honest inventory and accept our positive attributes with grace and appreciation. Sometimes, we aren’t challenged by the things that make us special, and it’s good to take a bow when warranted

Today, however, I’m more interested in how we fail to recognize the parts of our personalities and characters that make us unique and add to the mosaic that makes us extraordinarily who we are. These may be quirky elements that make us blush when called out by others, or they may be things that we’ve worked very hard to accomplish but feel like we never quite mastered. Perhaps they’re things that come naturally to us, things we’re gifted with, that we don’t feel we’ve earned the right to look to as accomplishments.

Denis Waitley, author of The Psychology of Winning, has an interesting take on the subject:

Let me reiterate the thought. It’s who you think you’re not that holds us back. We’re talking here about the diminishing ways we refer to ourselves. Statements like:

I’m not really that bright, or

I’m not the smart one; that’s my sister/brother/cousin, or

I just got lucky this time, or

I usually can’t do anything right, or

I don’t know why I even try because I always screw things up, am late, am broke, can’t handle the stress, or

I don’t have any friends because nobody likes me, or

I can/will never be happy, or

I’ll never be good enough, etc.

These self-debasing negative comments about ourselves can take root and become so toxic that we fail to notice them and the destruction they bring to our daily lives. They become defaults that are tough to change and keep us in a cycle of anxiety and depression. It’s not who we are, truly. It becomes who we’re not. It’s negative self-talk in the extreme.

I’m reminded of a couple of passages in Scripture that are the antithesis of negative self-talk, exclaiming the joy of who we are.

Isaiah 65:17-18 reads:

“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;
And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create;
For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing,
And her people a joy.” (NKJV)

And 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us:

“Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new.” (CEV)

The passages help us move away from the thoughts of who we are not and gravitate toward who we were created to be, how we’re all uniquely gifted, and what joy we have to experience and share with others. They assist us in refocusing on who we are and motivate us to strive to be even better. I know it isn’t easy sometimes, particularly when life is challenging. Often, it seems that we’re ill-equipped to manage tasks, but we’re built to be clever and find resources to help us be successful.

Let’s work at recognizing who we’re not this week as an exercise in discovering the default settings. Once uncovered, let’s replace them with positive, uplifting messaging to create hope and joy. My guess is that the new positivity will become infectious, and we’ll have to get used to looking at happier faces!

Be Well & Be Blessed!
Lucinda